


Truthfully

by easybakedoodles (Madrugada98)



Series: Stephan Cousland: There's Never Much of a Choice for You [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: M/M, the prompt for this was 'greatest fear'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 14:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17921039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madrugada98/pseuds/easybakedoodles
Summary: Stephan finally gets the courage to tell Alistair how he feels, but not after some avoidance tactics.





	Truthfully

     “So Warden, if I were to ask you how you felt about me, how would you answer?” Alistair asked him on the road towards Denerim. Stephan felt his heart stop as he almost tripped over his own feet in surprise. The two wardens were currently walking behind Leliana and Zevran, the two rogues wrapped up in their own conversation about various misadventures they had been on in the past. Stephan schooled his expression as he had to do many times at Castle Cousland, and tried to come up with an answer that didn’t come across badly.

     “I am thankful for you, for teaching me about the Wardens and staying with me all of these months against the Darkspawn. I admire you, for being so strong in the face of all the hardships that occured in Redcliffe, and all of the atrocities that we’ve seen because of the Blight. I respect you, for not letting all of the frankly terrible things that have happened turn you into a bitter and terrible person, and like anyone else in our party, I care about you. I want good things to happen to you and for you to be safe,” Stephan said, fighting to keep a neutral and light tone of voice. This was the most Stephan had ever admitted out loud about his feelings for Alistair, and to be fair, it was all true. Stephan, however, knew that it wasn’t the full truth.

     “Wow, th-thank you Warden, I wasn’t expecting that. I thought you might say something like ‘Your annoying tendency to ramble and bother me every ten minutes about something inane makes me want to throw you at the Darkspawn some days’ y’know something like that,” Alistair said. Stephan looked over at him incredulously to see Alistair rubbing the back of his neck nervously, his face blotchy for some reason as he tried to joke about it. Stephan had to clamp down on the wave of feelings he got at the sight of Alistair being so cute and try to still be neutral. He looked away from the other man and busied himself with adjusting his shoulder strap, holding his longsword to his back. An idea sparked, Stephan looked back up at Alistair, struck by an idea.

     “Will you spar with me tonight, after we’ve made camp?” He asked, looking hopefully at his fellow Warden. Alistair was startled by the question but he nodded his assent to the request. Out of all the ways Stephan had learned from his brother and mother on how to channel his thoughts and feelings, sparring was one of the better and more effective methods. Alistair looked as though he wanted to say something, but at the last minute changed his mind. Had Stephan been a more charming and less awkward person, he would have asked what was on his mind. In his current state however, he just settled for resuming their previous pace, walking behind the two rogues. Alistair stood and just watched his fellow Warden walk for a few moments, then jogging to catch up again.

~

     Later, after setting up camp, the two warriors stood facing each other, both tense though for varying reasons. Alistair wasn’t the usual person Stephan asked to spar with, and that was enough to put him on edge. Stephan knew what his true confession was going to be, and knew that one way or another, he was going to tell Alistair tonight. No more dancing around. He had to truly tell Alistair his feelings.

     They circled each other warily, both nervous to make the first move, until Zevran, clearly impatient with all of the tension, cleared his throat loudly to say

     “Well? Are you both going to just stand there, staring at each other all night?” he said, not trying to hide his interest in the outcome.

     Stephan, in his last moment of hesitance, looks to Sten, who is quietly watching as well, and all it takes is a nod from the qunari to rush at Alistair. Bringing his sword down over Alistair’s head, it was easily deflected by the round shield that Alistair was wielding. He had used both hands to stabilize the shield under Stephan’s longsword and in the moment that he used to shift his weight to swing his sword around at his opponent; Stephan had danced far enough away to stay out of reach.

     Both fell into a rhythm then, Stephan beginning to use the reach of his longsword to keep Alistair away, while Alistair tried to use his shield to deflect the blows. They went on like this for several minutes, with none of the rogues watching quite able to tell who would come out as the winner. Sten watched, starting to question his leader’s attachment to the other warrior in their party. In the Qun, upsetting the balance of their kith would be punishable by the Viddasala. As his ashkaari however, Sten could only wait and learn the reasoning behind the Warden’s actions.

     While Sten thought on this, the spar began to reach its peak. Stephan, too used to quickly being able to overpower his enemies had finally started to lose his stamina against the solid defense that Alistair presented. Within moments, Alistair managed to catch Stephan off guard and pushed so hard against him with his shield that Stephan fell back on his rear. Swinging his sword around, Alistair kept the shortsword leveled with his opponents throat to ensure the end of the match. Stephan just sat there, breathing heavily and staring at the business end of Alistair’s weapon.

     “Do you yield?” He asked, a smile teasing his lips, pleased at himself for proving his own strength. Stephan still sat, his breathing laboured, but his gaze had quickly shifted from the sword to Alistair’s face when Alistair spoke. After a tense moment, Stephan took a deep breath, then said what he had meant to say, hours ago in the woods.

     “I love you, Alistair,”

     “I- You what?” Alistair asked, very confused at the other Warden’s words and what they could possibly mean.

     “I didn’t say it earlier, when you asked how I feel about you, or when Leliana and Zevran almost spilled the beans, or when I first figured out my feelings. But, I want you to know now. I love you, Alistair,” Stephan said, breathless, staring up at the man who held his sword inches away from Stephan’s throat.

     Alistair stood there in shock, both of their breathing returning to normal while Alistair went through every interaction that he and the Warden had ever had. Suddenly, when everything seemed to line up, Alistair’s eyes snapped back into focus, and he threw the sword aside. His shield quickly followed as Alistair threw himself to the ground beside Stephan and gripped him in the tightest hug Stephan had ever experienced.

     “Thank you, I- I need time to think about this, but, thank you for telling me,” Alistair whispered. Stephan could only nod and hold onto his fellow Warden as tight as he could.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I've been struggling with this one for a while but I hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave a comment or kudos! I'm drvgongay on tumblr if you wanna chat!


End file.
